Meet Presidential Candidate Vermin Supreme
February 7, 2012
Meet 2012 Presidential candidate Vermin Love Supreme; Mr. Supreme is a lesser-known democratic candidate who firmly stands on his platform to harness the power of zombies to lessen dependence on foreign oil as well as leading America in time travel research. Supreme also vows, if elected, to pass a mandatory tooth-brushing law and provide a free pony to all Americans.
Now, contrary to his political reform plans and the fact that he wears a boot as a hat, he actually is not insane; well, he might be, but not for the reasons you think. Vermin Supreme’s campaign is essentially to mock the political system in a form of political satire. Although Vermin Supreme’s name came about during his career as an underground club booker, he claims the name still applies as a politician, constantly referring to politicians as vermin. Although Vermin ran for President three times before, he’s acquiring a much larger following this year, with footage of his speech at a forum gaining over one million views on YouTube.
Despite all the surreal humor that Vermin applies to his campaign, he still manages to get his genuine political views out…in a way. Supreme shared a table with anti-gay candidate Randall Terry at the Lesser-Known Democratic Candidates Presidential Forum this past December. During his closing statement, Supreme stood and threw glitter on Terry (an act in politics known as glitter bombing), claiming “Jesus told me to make Randall Terry gay,” ridiculing Terry’s belief that being homosexual is a choice.
Well fellow Americans and passionate activists, I believe the choice is clear; there is no candidate more suited for office than Vermin Supreme. After all, look at his credentials. Vermin Supreme is the only candidate that offers to prepare the nation for the zombie apocalypse. He is also the only candidate who vows to go back in time and kill baby Hitler. He is a friendly fascist, a tyrant you should trust, and we should let him run our lives because he does know what is best for us. And remember…a vote for Vermin Supreme is a vote completely thrown away!