College Admissions Scandal Mogul, William Singer, Admits All

Angelina Torre, Features Editor

If you haven’t already heard, 50 CEOs, investors, and celebrities — including actresses Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin —  have been charged with taking part in an illegal elaborate scheme to get their kids into top universities.

William Singer, from California, has pleaded guilty on multiple accounts as the mastermind behind the deception.  Singer had various avenues in getting these upper-crust teenagers into elite schools, both through fabricated test scores and even phantasmic extracurriculars.

The daughter of actress Lori Loughlin and fashion mogul Mossimo Giannulli, for example, is one of many who sported a crooked application during college admissions.  Olivia Jade Giannulli, or Olivia Jade as her fans know her, was admitted to the University of Southern California as a recruited athlete for the school’s crew team. The only issue?  The young Youtube personality has never even picked up a paddle.

“Man I am dying at the detail in this college admissions cheating scandal that they photoshopped the kids’ faces onto actual athletes’ bodies to submit pics to schools,” tweeted Buzzfeed News reporter, Molly Hensley-Clancy, who has taken to seeing the humor in this horrifying situation.  According to evidence in the case, Singer was in collusion with experienced digital artists who were able to contrive images of the ivy-league hopefuls onto the bodies of true athletes.

The whole fiasco accumulated a total of roughly $25 million dollars for Singer’s bank account, with over 50 individuals cited in the indictment ranging from celebrities to school administrators.

That number, however, does not include the students themselves.  Many of the kids claim they had no idea of the illegal happenings boosting their admission chances.

“Seriously,” said W.H.S. Math teacher Mrs. Prisco in a deadpan, unconvinced voice when told of the kids’ alleged ignorance.  Her face said it all: one eyebrow lifted in question, her eyes rolled in incredulity.

Prisco was beyond skeptical that any self-aware student would freely believe they earned an SAT score 400+ points above their average by their own volition… can you blame her?  It’s hard to believe these kids had no idea of the elaborate schemes that were taking place behind their back.

An article written by Will Stancil, however, makes a good counter-argument. “Advantage, after all, is rarely noticed by the advantaged,” Stancil wrote.

This single line quoted from an article on Singer, “Ignorance Was Bliss for the Children of the College-Admissions Scandal,” encompassed an idea that these kids are so used to getting “good things,” that it might only seem commonplace that they might receive a score higher than what they perceived themselves capable.

One passage of the indictment tells of a particularly pitying interaction between Singer and one of the allegedly oblivious kids.  According to Singer, kids would occasionally approach him after receiving their test scores, dumbfounded by their seemingly good fortune, and suggest they might take the test again confident they could bring up their scores.

Olivia Jade has already withdrawn from the University of Southern California, and it is only a matter of time before we hear of those also involved in the scheme giving the same notice.